Monthly Archives: October 2011

Next TeleClass to Begin January 22nd!

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I’ve finally set the dates for my next TeleClass, Joyful Days with Toddlers and Preschoolers!  It will take place over six Sundays, from January 22nd through February 26th, from 2pm-3:15pm Mountain Time.  This class is designed for parents, home-daycare providers, and early childhood teachers.  Here’s what participants are saying about the class:

“I love this tele class and I have been so grateful for your wisdom. I think you really have a great ability to facilitate discussions and make each person feel heard and to respond thoughtfully to all questions. I’m really feeling inspired to try new approaches with my kids and it’s such a good reminder to slow down and be mindful. ”
                                                -K.L., mother of twins
How It Works
The course is a multi-media mixture:  each of the six classes has its own topic, and takes place by conference call.  Participants call in to the class by phone, and I present my thoughts on the topic, we watch some video footage of me with the children at Rainbow Bridge, and there’s lots of time for people to ask questions about their own situations.  An assignment is given to try the ideas given in your home or program, and participants share their experiences with the assignments through online discussion.  All calls are recorded for those who can’t make it.

“Of the many trainings and workshops I’ve done, I’ve gotten the most practical advice from your class, which was the cheapest of all of them!  I use the skills I learned here on a daily basis.  I would recommend it to anyone.”
                                                 - H.C., mother of 2 and home-daycare provider
Class Topics
-Life As the Curriculum
-Teaching Children to Interact Graciously
-Making Mealtimes Special
-Smooth and Easy Transitions
-Creating a Nurturing Environment
-Being Your Best Self

 ”I love [the class] so much.  I take something from each topic to use right away in my program, which is exactly what I want at this point.  I love being able to ask specific questions as well…having a teacher to give feedback for   specific program questions is a real gift.”
                                                               -J.M., home daycare provider
Cost
The cost of the course is $220, or sign up with a friend, spouse, nanny, or grandparent for only $165 each.  If you have taken the course before, you can take it again for half price.


If you have any questions or would like to reserve your spot, please email me at faith@joyfultoddlers.com

Toddler/Infant Sibling Interactions

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My daughter is two and my son is almost one month old. My daughter is madly in love with her baby brother and wants to hold and carry him. I help her hold him while sitting down, but am having a tough time redirecting when she tries to pick him up or take him out of my arms and pulls on him. I find myself saying no while playing tug o war with my infant- not effective parenting :( Really, I’m looking for advice on those situations when the toddler puts herself or others in harm’s way. Another similar example is that when she plays with her friends, she will hug and not let go until the friend cries or falls over.

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Help Getting to Sleep

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Hello,
My question is about my 20 month old and sleep. My daughter usually takes several hours to get to sleep no matter what. I really feel she doesn’t get enough sleep, and she is often exhausted but cannot seem to stop wiggling. She has always had a great deal of trouble sleeping, she is very active, smart, and has been overly alert since birth. She is quite sensitive to noise etc. but fine otherwise. I keep her routine as predictable as I can…esp around sleep times…and I make sure she plays outside for a while each day, but it seems she needs to much more to get to sleep. I am exhausted and a bit worried because we have a new baby coming soon.
ANY suggestions are appreciated. We have and continue to explore food allergies, sensory issues (i believe that is a contributing factor), we have a homeopath, have seen crainiosacral therapists etc. etc.
-Laura
Hi Laura,
Oh my gosh, what a challenge for you guys.  It sounds like you’re doing a lot of the things I would suggest, and how frustrating that none of it seems to work consistently.
I am currently reading a book that I am LOVING, and might be just what you need.  It is called “Sleepless in America:  Practical Strategies to Help Your Family Get the Sleep it Deserves,” by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka.  I’m only about half way through, but so far I’ve agreed with just about everything that she’s said.  She talks about how when children are sleep-deprived, their bodies emit stress hormones, which make it much harder to get to sleep.  She talks about teaching children how to relax their bodies, and she gives lots of tips on how to minimize stress levels throughout the day, and how to approach bedtime.  She’s not a cry-it-out proponent.  Her book is not focused on toddlers specifically, but she does address the issue of children who have always been jumpy and had trouble sleeping.
Setting the Mood

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Imaginative Journeys for Mundane Tasks

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Redbird tells each child to put
his cloth in the bowl

 

Dear Miss Faith, 
          I’ve never before had children that regularly made a fuss but at the moment I look after two brothers (just turned 3 and 4) that get upset about washing hands, having nappies (diapers) changed and having shoes put on. I always give them warning (ie. in a few minutes we can wash our hands so that we will be ready to prepare our snack) give them a choice of helping to do it themselves or I can do it and try to keep things positive and fun but quite often none of it works.  I hate having to force them to do things when they get upset but these are things that really need to be done so im not sure what else to do. If you can think of any ideas that might help us I would be grateful!
Thank you,  Karen
Hi Karen,
               If the children were smaller (say, between 1 and 3), I’d suggest doing less talking.  A child who refuses to put on his shoes when you tell him, is often fine if you simply take him by the hand and start putting on his shoes without talking about it.  Especially if you are talking about something else that’s interesting, instead.   However, your boys are older, and that probably won’t work with them.  So, there are a couple of things to do.
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Starting Daycare and Saying Goodbye

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Dear Miss Faith,
               My little guy is starting daycare and while I’m sure that it will be a wonderful, loving place for him, I am dreading dropping him off and saying goodbye.  We have had a hard time with babysitters lately.  Do you have any advice for helping it go smoothly?
Dear Mama,
               Yes!  I have helped many families adjust to saying goodbye for the first time, and what I’ve seen is this:  the thing that makes the most difference for a child is the parent’s attitude.  When a parent feels bad that a child is crying, and lingers as a result, children often continue crying for a long time, even after the parent has managed to drag herself away.  I think that when a parent does this, the message she is sending is, “I don’t want to leave you here, but I have to.”  The way the child interprets this is,  “Mom doesn’t want to leave me here; I AM NOT SAFE HERE.”
The biggest gift you can give your child is to say, with every ounce of your being, “I am leaving you in the best of hands.”  You don’t have to say this out loud; transmit it through your actions, through your attitude.  This doesn’t mean that you don’t acknowledge his feelings: it’s hard to watch you leave!  You can be compassionate without feeling guilty for causing the grief. “I know that saying goodbye is hard, AND I know that you’ll have a good time while I’m gone.  I love you so much, and I am leaving you in the best of hands.”

But what if I AM feeling guilty?  It is heart-wrenching to walk away when my little one is crying his heart out and reaching out to me. 
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hitting smaller children

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Hi Miss Faith,
First, congratulations. I hope you and your partner had a great honeymoon. I didn’t change my last name until I was 3 years into marriage (I didn’t think I ever was going to change it, but had a change of heart).
               In any case, we’re having challenges with my 2 1/2 year old being physically aggressive with her peers. Sometimes it’s ‘out of nowhere’ which makes it all the more baffling. In other words, I understand more when she grabs, pushes, pinches, etc. to get something, but am worried about where it’s coming from (even when the cause is evident). She doesn’t do this with older children (even slightly older). She is very verbal (and did this before she was verbal – I saw your post about that) and has always been on the higher energy side. She didn’t do any of it this summer (despite ample opportunity) but now has started up again, even pushing babies down, etc.! Any tips or insight is appreciated!
                                                                       -Jennifer
Hi Jennifer,
              While most toddlers love ‘babies,’ I have had several children who were naturally aggressive to children who were smaller than they were, and their moms (and I) had to work extra hard with those children as they learned impulse control.  My heart goes out to you!  Don’t worry too much about “where this is coming from.”  She is not destined to grow up to be a bully, and nor is it necessarily a commentary on your parenting.  I firmly believe that some children come into the world timid, and some come in with guns blazing; it’s our role as parents and caregivers to help all of them learn behavior skills that will serve them well as they interact with others.  That being said, it’s worth asking the basic questions:  Does she have a regular routine and consistent boundaries so that she knows what is coming up next and what’s expected?  Does she have a nurturing home environment (you aren’t remodeling your house, are you?) and get lots of loving attention from you (no new baby in the family)?  If these things aren’t as strong as they could be, then do put some attention into them.  
               My main long-term suggestion is to help your little girl develop the virtue of Empathy.  2 ½ is a great age to start working on this, as it’s the age when children first start to really be able to live in to someone else’s experiences.  Here are a few ways you can help her as she begins this process:
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