Hi Miss Faith,
First, congratulations. I hope you and your partner had a great honeymoon. I didn’t change my last name until I was 3 years into marriage (I didn’t think I ever was going to change it, but had a change of heart).
In any case, we’re having challenges with my 2 1/2 year old being physically aggressive with her peers. Sometimes it’s ‘out of nowhere’ which makes it all the more baffling. In other words, I understand more when she grabs, pushes, pinches, etc. to get something, but am worried about where it’s coming from (even when the cause is evident). She doesn’t do this with older children (even slightly older). She is very verbal (and did this before she was verbal – I saw your post about that) and has always been on the higher energy side. She didn’t do any of it this summer (despite ample opportunity) but now has started up again, even pushing babies down, etc.! Any tips or insight is appreciated!
-Jennifer
Hi Jennifer,
While most toddlers love ‘babies,’ I have had several children who were naturally aggressive to children who were smaller than they were, and their moms (and I) had to work extra hard with those children as they learned impulse control. My heart goes out to you! Don’t worry too much about “where this is coming from.” She is not destined to grow up to be a bully, and nor is it necessarily a commentary on your parenting. I firmly believe that some children come into the world timid, and some come in with guns blazing; it’s our role as parents and caregivers to help all of them learn behavior skills that will serve them well as they interact with others. That being said, it’s worth asking the basic questions: Does she have a regular routine and consistent boundaries so that she knows what is coming up next and what’s expected? Does she have a nurturing home environment (you aren’t remodeling your house, are you?) and get lots of loving attention from you (no new baby in the family)? If these things aren’t as strong as they could be, then do put some attention into them.
My main long-term suggestion is to help your little girl develop the virtue of Empathy. 2 ½ is a great age to start working on this, as it’s the age when children first start to really be able to live in to someone else’s experiences. Here are a few ways you can help her as she begins this process: