Dear Miss Faith,                                                                     My boy is 3 ½ , and he’s used to having me as his main playmate.  I would like him to start being able to play on his own more, but when I try to make him do it, it feels like I’m being mean.  How can I get him to play independently?

Dear Mom,                                                                                I absolutely agree that it’s valuable for kids to play independently, both for their own exploration of the world, and for your ability to have down-time and own peace of mind!  But if your kid is used to having you at his beck and call, how do you change this pattern?  Certainly trying to “make” him do it doesn’t feel good to anyone; it simply feels like you’re pushing him away.  The key to helping a child learn to play independently is to alternate times of paying direct attention to them with times of being ‘busy.’  There are tricks to both of these to make them successful.

Paying Direct Attention                                                       If you’re like many moms, you’ve spent the last couple of years ‘playing along’ with your child.  If he tells you to be the lion, you roar.  If he wants to play with the truck you’re playing with, you give it to him.  This can start to get old after awhile, but you don’t know what else to do. Continue reading →